HOW TO REBUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AFTER A DIVORCE 

Copyright 1983 by Vibar Marketing International. All Rights Reserved. No part of this report may
be reproduced or transmitted in any form by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or
other means, without the express written permission of the author or publisher. 

Your self-esteem - what you think of yourself in relation to other people - is the basic secret of your
success or failure in life. 

It's really as simple as that... Think well of yourself, and you'll do well. Think disparagingly of
yourself, and you'll probably not do very well at all . 

Regardless of whether you're the perpetrator or the victim, the experience of going through a divorce
is going to damage your self-esteem. In fact, the blow dealt to one's self-esteem by divorce is lethal
enough to drive anyone to the brink of insanity. 

What you must do is think of your divorce - the end of your marriage - as you would the death of a
loved one. Basically, that's what it is! 

There is a period of burial or of letting go; a period of feeling guilty because you didn't do or say all
the things you might have; a period of anger because it didn't work out the way you dreamed it
would; a period of reconciliation in which you think maybe if you try again, it'll all work out; and
finally, a period of acceptance. 

Everyone who has ever been through a divorce or is still recovering from one, has either lived
through each of these "recovery stages," or is still in one of them. It's all normal, and a part of the
necessary healing that has to take place before you are able to recognize and enjoy happiness again. 

Even so, the most important and the very first thing you must do following the break-up of any kind
of relationship, is to get started on the rebuilding of your self-esteem. 

This means that you have to accept the fact that neither you or anyone else is perfect - determine that
you will learn from your mistakes - and that you will become whatever it is you aspire to be... 

Immediately, do something that makes you feel good - something you've been wanting to do for
some time - or always wanted to do. This could be getting a new hair-do, buying a new suit,
enrolling in a special self-improvement course, starting a business, or even taking an extended
vacation. 

You mustn’t lock yourself in your house or apartment. You mustn’t be afraid to get out and associate
with people. You mustn’t stop wanting to enjoy life! 

You may have to force yourself, but you must "forget" about mourning your loss and continue on
with your life. You must go on with your life with a stronger determination than ever, to be the
person you want to be. Don't "beat yourself over the head" with feelings of guilt. Get rid of your
anger as quickly as possible. Forget about the past. Get on with the rest of your life without delay! 

Revitalize those ambitions that have been "hidden away" in the back of your mind, and consider this
particular time in your life as an opportunity for a new start. Do some introspection relative to what it
is you want out of life; reorganize your time and efforts to attain those objectives; and go for it with
all you've got! 

After all has been said and done, the kind of person you are and how you get along in the world you
live in, is up to you. The most powerful assistance for attaining happiness anyone has, is in what he or
she says, feels, and believes about himself or herself. When things are not quite right, the first thing
that needs to be changed is your disposition - your attitude, feelings towards other people, and your
emotional responses. Think about your facial expressions and the tone of your voice when you're
talking with other people. Being aware of these things with consideration towards other people, will
"bring you out of your-self" and allow other people to want to know more about you. 

You have to forget about, and let go of, the past. Anything and everything that happened yesterday
is long gone and cannot be changed. You have the rest of your life from this moment on, to achieve
love - happiness - fame and fortune. 

Whatever it is you want in life can be yours. All that's necessary to make any dream come true is a
true understanding of what you want, and determination on your part to make it all happen according
to your plan. Think about what you want - prepare yourself to get it - focus your efforts on the
fulfillment of your ambitions - and there's nothing that can stop you from total realization! 

So, the first thing relative to rebuilding one's self-esteem - following a divorce, or the loss of a loved
one by any circumstances - is to understand why you hurt, and what is necessary in order to be
happy again. It essential that you think of YOURSELF in terms of the kind of life you want for
yourself; know that you can have it all because you've laid the foundation, done your homework, and
you're on a positive road towards achievement; and then get busy "making tracks" in that direction. 

In simple terms - it hurts, but you're not dead - you're only wasting time thinking about or rehashing
the past because there's no way anything that happened yesterday or the day before can be changed
- so quickly pick up the pieces, and get on with your life! 

Wanting to "get well," and/or to "make something out of your life," is half the battle!